“What destiny a man who casts no shadow?” ~ drexel white
Focused Mind ~ Busy Hands.
Woke up, fell out of bed, dragged a comb across my head. Found my way downstairs and drank a cup, and looking up I noticed I was late.
Found my coat and grabbed my hat, made the bus in seconds flat. Found my way upstairs and had a smoke, somebody spoke and I went into a dream. – Lennon/McCartney’s A Day in the Life
I rose, brushed my teeth, shaved the stubble from my face before a hot shower. Afterwards I towel dried and curling on the fluffy mat beside the tub fell into a deep sleep.
Sing to me Life of the Spring days to come, the soft sea sprayed winds. Comfort me. My soul knows no rest, the body numb, my heart no peace. No balm for the injuries you’ve inflicted. Such harsh discipline should end in some reward one would expect.
Lift me from this pit. Free me from the tangles. Peel their tendrils make me clean. Let me rest nuzzled at your neck. Shield me from their assaults, temptations, their pull. Your fresh sweet fragrance fills my lungs as the muck begins to choke. Such is the torture. The insane sacrifice. Such is my fate.
I didn’t take the stairs today, instead I rode an empty elevator up. Think it makes a difference? One more day in the life. ~ me
21Jan16 ~ A note I wrote to my daughters after seeing an interview on television about people that had influenced other people’s lives. It wasn’t so much the person but the message about how your dream isn’t for anyone else. That it is specific to you and you alone. I get allot of static at times, head scratching or simple dismissal for being the person I am, the things that are important to me or my personal goals. I was taught to ignore all this because as an individual I will always stand out when compared to others. Its simple my son, no two people are the same. It’s not supposed to be that way. You have a path made just for you alone, no one else.” So after being inspired I began a lengthy text which I violently chopped to a blurb. I thought email but an email today is like a post office letter. It will get there eventually but will it ever be read? Maybe they will happen upon this extended version to know more of where I was coming from.
Like most parents I was so busy helping to raise these incredible women there wasn’t much time for them to really get to know me. It’s a gap that has only grown as they matured. Life got in the way as it does in too many cases. They know I love them crazy insane. They are the flowers in my life. So here’s the extended version.
This really spoke to me, talking to the many challenges I face both personally & professionally because of my standards, ethics, morality & life expectations. We all have dreams, goals, hopes, plans, etc that no one else may understand but that’s ok, you probably don’t or won’t get mine. You’re influenced by the world as it is today; I by the world that gave yours grew from. It was our generation with all its firsts, misfires and lasts that warped Tweeners into a true 21st century people, squeezed yours from their pores.
It was in my younger years a time of great immeasurable joy as well as unknown pain. As an African-American we felt, for the first time in a couple generations, we had arrived. The chains our grandparents had thrown off were now fading into the distance as we were swept up into the fervor of the time. Or so we thought. Our leaders were respected world-wide, meeting with presidents, royalty, the United Nations, speaking their minds, sharing their opinions openly and exposing the real truths of our world. And the world listened, they reacted, responded. Again or so we thought. The world listened; the world took note and chunks of the world changed dramatically. At home there was a different reaction. Instead of joining the movement they gave begrudging face value compliance. We the people continued to live as we had before. Our leaders began to be tarnished and disappear as assassination after assassination occurred. Even old fashioned hangings became vogue again. We the people continued to live as we had before…but not as before the before but before the then. We had a new spirit within us, a different fire had been stoked which slowly began to pop and crackle. Although fading from the front page a voice still rang in our hearts. It had been forgotten years since our forefathers left hot sweaty fields feeling deep in their weary bodies that their lives had changed, really changed, this was the spark glowing inside.
Our brothers of the Age of Aquarius moved on. They said their peace shoved their fingers up the noses of The Establishment and were allowed back in. We the people continued to live as we had before…but not exactly as before the before but in the tomorrow our grandparents had danced out of those fields dreaming of. You see we had adopted their dream. We had imagined ourselves as the same when the reality was, is and always will be we have a different dream. Not greater or less than but part of a greater dream. And in this greater dream we each harbor an individual dream.
My point is what you may recognize as normal was life changing for me. My childhood began in a time of false hope, a choreographed picture of American life with very clear class distinctions which predisposition the lives of an entire race. In reflection not much had changed except the chains. In my adolescence the entire program was rewritten. The machine had not changed yet but the software was a new build. We were Aquarians probably The Aquarians of our age because there was no Get Out of Jail card for us. Once out we were had to either gain ground or cease to be. Now I was not only told I could be anything I set my mind to be, my mind was released to fully pursue this dream. My anything had expanded beyond the few acceptable professional positions of the day which meant being White during the day and Black at night. I could now become the me I chose to become. I could pick from the crazy buffet variety the world had to offer. In short I could have a dream, my dream of my very own design. That didn’t mean it wouldn’t be contoured by society’s machinery no but I was in control of how much.
When I look at you I see how much broader your dreams are compared to mine and I smile because I know the feeling of trying to live someone else’s dream and its freedom from it. You experience what is for me the impossibly insane happiness of pursuing a dream borne of your own seed. Mine echoes the spirit of dearly won beachheads open to exploration. Yours’ of a new world.
I respect you for your dedication, your passion to constantly strive for the most out of life. Your spiritual pursuit. I love you for your humanity, your eternal being.
You may say Dad’s on another crazy bender but I’m not. I wish you had had the opportunity to really get to know who I am. Anyway both links encouraged me to keep to my dream(s). That although I may stand alone, it’s alright because my dream isn’t for anyone else neither are yours. Much love & blessed peace. ~ me
Don Lemon The Person that Changed My Life
T.D. Jakes My Dream sermon